Monday, November 14, 2005

Does doing the right thing help you?

I was chatting with a girl from online (Nancy M) and we decided to see an improv show this past Friday evening.

Around 10am the morning of, I received an email from her:

Nancy M: Hey there- I'm going to have to pass on tonite. My movers changed times and I'm moving tomorrow instead of sunday. I have to pack and get organized tonite. I'm sorry. This just wasn't a good weekend- this moving thing took me by surprise. I'd like to meet you once things are settled and maybe just in arlington, georgetown area?? ok- have a good day. -Nancy

(Yeah, movers have such open schedules that they just change days on you in a moments notice. Riiiiight.)

I didn't respond. About 30 minutes later, I received an email from a different girl from online (Tammy B) and the following chat took place:

Tammy B: how about grabbing a cup of coffee on night or sometime over the weekend - let me know!

BiffM: doing anything tonight? There is an improv show I want to check out. Would 8pm work for you? xxx-xxx-xxxx is my cell.

Tammy B: actually, i'm not doing anything! i would love to go catch an improv show.

(She didn't give her cell number.)

Being that it was a federal holiday and I was off from work, I took a nap. Around 2pm, my cell phone rang. I didn't pick up. I checked the message and it was Nancy M.

Nancy M: Hey, its Nancy...your date for tonight. Turns out that the movers aren't coming tomorrow afterall, so we are still on for tonight. Call me and let me know where you want me to meet you.

(Huh? My date for tonight? Didn't she cancel on me? Now, what do I do?)

I did the decent thing and decided to keep the second date I made. I left a message for Nancy M saying that I already made other plans. She called back within two minutes...

Nancy M: Wow you don't waste time!

Biff M: No...I didn't want to be bored tonight...

We chatted for 20 minutes or so and I realized that I really wanted to meet her more. But, I kept the date with Tammy B, anyway.

I emailed Tammy B with the bar/restaurant to meet at 7pm.

I got to the bar at 7pm on the dot. It was a pizza restuarant with a bar and it was packed. I scanned everyone. No one seemed to look like her photo -- at least no girl who was alone. Great...I didn't go with the girl I preferred to meet and now I'm being stood up. I waited until 7:15pm and left. As I left, I realized I didn't have change for the Metro. So, I went next door to a seafood place to get change at the bar. That place was a lot less crowded and it was easy to get to the bar. I got my change and headed home.

Later that night, I received an email:

Tammy B: hey there - it looks like we missed each other and i think i know why. i went to the address given on the website and it didn't look quite right (i thought we were meeting at a pizza place and this seemed more like a seafood place) but i wasn't sure what else to do. only when i left did i see the pizza place, around the corner but with the same address. why would there be two places with the same address? that really doesn't make sense. so i hung out in the pizza place for a while (cool place!) but didn't see you. my apologies for the problems -should we try again?

(Huh? You knew you were in a seafood place instead of a pizza place, but you stayed there anyway? Why didn't you call me? And I went into the seafood place for change and you still didn't see me and it wasn't crowded! Yeah...I believe you.)

Biffm: Did you just not have my number with you? I gave it to you (in the other email.) Call me sometime and we'll see what we can do...

Tammy B: hey there - i am getting the feeling that you want to extract blood from me for my error. okay. so here it goes: no i did not notice the phone number tucked away at the bottom of your email. so no i did not have it with me and so instead spent 20 minutes hanging out at the hostess station of the wrong restaurant eating their little jelly mints. like i said before, i apologize for the error and take full responsibility. i am sensing quite a bit of hostility / aggression in your emails. my intuition tells me that this "relationship" is no longer salvageable and so it is best to cut our losses and move on. good luck with everything.

(My cell number was "tucked away at the bottom of my email?" IT WAS A TWO-LINE EMAIL! How tucked away can it be???)

I had to reply:

Biffm: Don't worry about it...its not really your fault. I've been stood up by over a dozen online girls so far (not sure why that is). So, now no one has much room for error. It's exhausting to pursue girls who I am not sure if they are really sincere in wanting to meet me. I actually walked into the seafood place at 7:15 to get change for the metro to go home. I guess I lost faith in your story b/c you didn't come up to me when I walked in there.'s not your fault. Let's blame the others who stood me up prior to you. Okay? :-)