Is there anybody out there?

I made plans to meet this girl for a show. We were IM'ing and I asked her three times if she was sure she wanted to go because I would have to buy tickets in advance. She said yes. That was on a Wednesday for a Saturday show. I gave her my number and said to call me to figure out how to meet. No call on Thursday. So, I emailed her on Friday:

BiffM: "Hey! How are you today? (blah, blah...chit-chat) Okay, so where am I meeting you tomorrow? I can pick you up wherever you like."

She said she didn't know her way around the city. So I wanted to know if we could meet at a metro or whatever. There was no reply. So I IM'd her that night asking the same thing. Again -no reply. At this point, I've given up on the date, but I wanted a response. So, I emailed her on Saturday morning.

BiffM: "Hey there. Give me a call if we are on for tonight. My number is xxx-xxx-xxxx"

Like the Genesis song, "No Reply at All."

I emailed her again that night (as she was online) and said I found someone to take the tickets. (I did not find anyone to take the tickets, but I didn't want her to feel badly for sticking me with the bill). No answer.

I emailed her early Sunday morning (the night after the show):

BiffM: "So what happened?"

As with all aol emails, you can see when they are read by the other person. She read this one an hour ago and did not answer. So, I IM'd her again:

BiffM: "?"

(I waited a couple of minutes)

BiffM: "still around?"

(another couple of minutes)

BiffM: "i'm confused"

(Persistant, aren't I? :-) Yet another couple of minutes go by)

BiffM: "So your intention was to be a jerk?"

(Hmmm...How could I get a response from her? Hmmm... I know!)

BiffM: "or you are just ugly and were too scared to meet?"

Elaine E: "f*** you jerkofff"

(Whoa! That must have hit close to the mark! No response for days and then wham! Right atcha!)

BiffM: "finally!"

Elaine E: "a friend of mine was in a bad accident I havent been home a**hole"

(Oh, wow...don't I feel stupid. No, wait...she was SO upset over this friend's accident that she logged onto match.com every day?!)

BiffM: "you read my emails. You realize on aol, you can see if a note was read. No need to lie"

Elaine E: "no I had sis check em for my work sh**"

BiffM: "k"

Elaine E: "sorry your friend is dying Elaine"

Elaine E: "thanks a lot"

(So, you stand me up...lie to me...and now you want me to say "sorry"? Yeah, I'll get right on that.)

BiffM: "good luck with all that"

Elaine E: "as if you care.....ugly huh? that was funny."

BiffM: "i would care. But, not knowing you...its hard to believe"

Elaine E: "showed your true colors though damn,.dont even wait for an explanation"

(I didn't wait for an explanation? Did my "so what happened?" not resemble an inquiry??? What about my four attempts in the previous 15 minutes? I didn't know there apparent prerequisite of asking six times before the seventh time actually counts as asking. Where was my brain?)

BiffM: "i was waiting for an explanation for days! never came. I doubt its true"

Elaine E: "dont care what you believe gott a go"

Elaine E signed off

(You would think over the course of four days, she could somehow find a moment to say "sorry, can't talk...tell you about it later." But, there was nothing. Oooo...and did my "ugly" comment stir her up or what? She was swearing at me before I hit the enter key! But, let's tip our cap to her sister. She was SO nice to not only check Elaine's "work sh**" as she so eloquently put it. But she also checked her match.com account every day. It reminds me of when Elaine Benes on Seinfeld heard her boyfriend was in a accident and stopped off to buy Jujy-Fruit candy. Oh, and she winked at my friend on match later that same day. I guess her friend recovered)