Tuesday, June 20, 2006

32 Dimensions...

Apparently, there are 32 different dimensions of compatibility a person can have with another human being. E-Harmony is cashing in on matching people based on 29 of those 32 dimensions. And according to the old spokesman guy (the one you want to punch just because his voice is so annoying) they are finding perfect couples every day.

So, now that I'm single again, I browsed around on their web site. They don't give you much info and you can't see any other people who are members. The only thing you can do is fill out a questionnaire. So, I did. They asked me if I eat with a fork, chop-sticks, or my hands. They asked me if I prefer to reach for the doorknob with my left hand, my right hand, or use saloon-style swinging doors instead of knobs. They asked me if Rover, Spot or Fido was the best name for a dog. But they never asked anything about what I wanted.

Hello! Last time I checked...aside from runway models...girls are 3-dimensional! (and even models are 2-dimensional). Height, width, and depth...I want to know about those 3 very important dimensions! Is her width about 3 units at the hips, 2 units at the waist, and another 3 units at the chest? I want to know! But, not even that... Being 3-D, is she displacing the air around her head with blonde hair or brunette hair? Is too much air displaced around her belly region? E-Harmony dismisses these 3 dimensions as not important. And it's probably worse for females on the website. If the girl is 5'11", she probably wants to know if the guy is a couple meters high or not. Remember that dimension? It's called height. Sure they tell you those statistics later, but they don't match you on those.

Anyhoo...I did the free 7 day trial. And I found out one thing. Apparently, I am only compatible on 29 different dimensions with the ugliest people in the world! Oh wait! Time is sometimes called the 4th dimension. That brings us to a total of 33 dimensions. And it is obvious that E-Harmony doesn't use that dimension, either. My 20 "matches" were with Grandma Moses and 19 of her sisters. And like I said...they weren't lookers...even for grandmas!


Blogger Crystal said...

ugly chics need love too

2:08 PM  

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