Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Is that a stop sign?

I was out with Becca for some drinks and then a show. We were having a fun time. (But as you are aware from earlier posts, what the hell do I know? Maybe it was an awful date. Who knows for sure?) While driving her home, she asked if I was hungry and said there was a pizza place on the way to her place. Sure, why not.

Then the unthinkable happened at the pizza joint. She said, "we can get it to go and eat back at my place." What? Was this actually a sign from a girl that I'm able to read? Outside of the girl saying "I like you," I've never been able to pick up on signs or realize what they mean even when I think it is one. Now, I'm not a typical guy by any stretch of the imagination. So, I was not taking it as permission to attack her at her place. I simply read it as "I'm comfortable enough with you to allow the date to last longer tonight and maybe I'll be up for more dates."

So, back at her place we ate and talked some more. She recycled the box and soda cans, so she got points for that in my book. (That's not relevant to the story...I'm just saying.) The layout of her townhouse was such that when you walked in, you could go all the way to the back of the townhouse (the kitchen) via one continuous hallway. I put on my coat and walked with her back to the front door. As I went to hug her goodbye, she wet her pants. (No, not in the sexual way and not in the lack of bladder control way.) You see, she gave me a "butt-out hug" that was probably a world record. Her butt was so far back, I know it was in the kitchen sink soaking up sudsy water.

The butt-out hug usually means I don't want to touch you so don't waste your time calling me again. But this one seemed to mean, "I wish I could take back this date and all the emails we exchanged, too!"

Maybe I should start looking for girls with wet butts. That probably is a sign that they are single and looking...


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