You are great! Well, not really...
Leigh and I decided to meet out at a bar with friends for the first meeting. That's not something I usually do (I did it in the past and the girl asked me for my friend's number, so I thought better of bringing other guys to first dates.) But, she seemed scared to be alone with me (I'm pretty scary with all my scars, now.) Things actually went really well, though. She seemed to be having a lot of fun...laughing a lot. (Maybe she was drunk.)
She spoke my language...softball. Out of the blue, she said she was looking for a team. She came to the right place...I got her on one of my teams. Later in the week, I asked her out again. She accepted. (Was she drinking at work, this time?) That date went very well, also, as did the third. After the 3rd, I was walking her back to my car and I leaned in to kiss her cheek. She turned. Did I get the ear again? NO! She must have screwed up because she turned the wrong way and gave me her lips. That was weird. I told her that I was only going for the cheek and she got all embarrassed. It was cute.
The fourth date was another good one. During it, she remarked how she was stressed at work. I said I'd rub her shoulders sometime. After dropping her off, she text'd me: "Thanks again. I had another great time. You are great. I'm going to take you up on that back rub soon." That's a good sign, you're thinking. Yeah, well, you'd be wrong. (Have you not been paying attention to my dating luck throughout all my stories?)
We set up a fifth date. About an hour before it she text'd: "I have to cancel tonight. Family issues." Okay, whatever. She was then "online now" the entire night on match.com. (I guess her family consists of a lot of single people, but you would think a "friends and family" cell plan would be better than online dating IMs to work out family issues.)
Later in the week, I emailed and said I hoped everything worked out. She said yes. Weeks passed and no word from her. Finally, I wrote: "Are you at least going to play softball? We need a girl. Don't worry, I won't ask you out again."
She replied: "I feel like I owe you an explanation. (Ya think???) You are a wonderful person who I am so thankful for meeting. I want to talk to you about where I am at because I know you deserve my honesty. When I went home, I saw my ex-boyfriend and it threw me off. I think he wants to work things out. I know this is so trite, but this honestly, genuinely has nothing to do with you. I am in a tough place right now and am trying to figure things out and I don't think it's fair to you to keep you in limbo. I still want to play on the team and I know you are a mature and awesome person who I can definitely see being friends with. I had a great time with you. Thank you for everything."
A week passed and she emailed again: "I was thinking about it a lot and I think, realistically, I am not going to be able to dedicate enough time to a team. I want to play, but the way work has been, it's hard for me to get out before 6 or 7 much of the time."
I wrote: "Okay. I feel like I did something to offend you. I see you are active on match.com while you're supposedly getting back with your ex."
Leigh's reply: "You didn't do anything. I promise. I mean it that I am going through a tough time and am just trying to figure things out. It's hard for me to really explain my situation so you would understand it. I don't want you to take it personally. I didn't take my match profile down because I still feel like it is wise for me to remain open to meeting people on there. (So, you remain open to meeting new guys online...just not open to seeing the one that you told "you are great" to a few weeks back. That's not confusing at all.) I had a long, complicated relationship with someone who recently came back into my life. I don't know where it is going but I am trying to figure it out. (Yeah, by all means...go back to your complicated relationship because it worked so well the first time that you had to break up. Did I mention that I don't understand girls?)
Btw, it's months later now and she's still on match.com. I guess her ex is one heck of a precious GEM!
She spoke my language...softball. Out of the blue, she said she was looking for a team. She came to the right place...I got her on one of my teams. Later in the week, I asked her out again. She accepted. (Was she drinking at work, this time?) That date went very well, also, as did the third. After the 3rd, I was walking her back to my car and I leaned in to kiss her cheek. She turned. Did I get the ear again? NO! She must have screwed up because she turned the wrong way and gave me her lips. That was weird. I told her that I was only going for the cheek and she got all embarrassed. It was cute.
The fourth date was another good one. During it, she remarked how she was stressed at work. I said I'd rub her shoulders sometime. After dropping her off, she text'd me: "Thanks again. I had another great time. You are great. I'm going to take you up on that back rub soon." That's a good sign, you're thinking. Yeah, well, you'd be wrong. (Have you not been paying attention to my dating luck throughout all my stories?)
We set up a fifth date. About an hour before it she text'd: "I have to cancel tonight. Family issues." Okay, whatever. She was then "online now" the entire night on match.com. (I guess her family consists of a lot of single people, but you would think a "friends and family" cell plan would be better than online dating IMs to work out family issues.)
Later in the week, I emailed and said I hoped everything worked out. She said yes. Weeks passed and no word from her. Finally, I wrote: "Are you at least going to play softball? We need a girl. Don't worry, I won't ask you out again."
She replied: "I feel like I owe you an explanation. (Ya think???) You are a wonderful person who I am so thankful for meeting. I want to talk to you about where I am at because I know you deserve my honesty. When I went home, I saw my ex-boyfriend and it threw me off. I think he wants to work things out. I know this is so trite, but this honestly, genuinely has nothing to do with you. I am in a tough place right now and am trying to figure things out and I don't think it's fair to you to keep you in limbo. I still want to play on the team and I know you are a mature and awesome person who I can definitely see being friends with. I had a great time with you. Thank you for everything."
A week passed and she emailed again: "I was thinking about it a lot and I think, realistically, I am not going to be able to dedicate enough time to a team. I want to play, but the way work has been, it's hard for me to get out before 6 or 7 much of the time."
I wrote: "Okay. I feel like I did something to offend you. I see you are active on match.com while you're supposedly getting back with your ex."
Leigh's reply: "You didn't do anything. I promise. I mean it that I am going through a tough time and am just trying to figure things out. It's hard for me to really explain my situation so you would understand it. I don't want you to take it personally. I didn't take my match profile down because I still feel like it is wise for me to remain open to meeting people on there. (So, you remain open to meeting new guys online...just not open to seeing the one that you told "you are great" to a few weeks back. That's not confusing at all.) I had a long, complicated relationship with someone who recently came back into my life. I don't know where it is going but I am trying to figure it out. (Yeah, by all means...go back to your complicated relationship because it worked so well the first time that you had to break up. Did I mention that I don't understand girls?)
Btw, it's months later now and she's still on match.com. I guess her ex is one heck of a precious GEM!
posted by biffm at 7:58 PM
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