Wow...I was a moron at a young age!

I just found out today from my first crush that she liked me, too. I had no idea! My non-ability to recognize signals started in grade school. I thought she stole my baseball cap to piss me off.

Well, if stealing my cap is the tell-tale sign when you are 11, what is a good sign to look for in my 30's? Stealing my wallet? My car? My underwear? (Okay, that might be a recongizable sign, but I'm not sure I'd want a girl who has that fetish.)